Don't Give Up!

Resilience, when one has to dig deep and keep going. Sometimes life is tough and gets in the way of your goals.

Right now I have a bad back, it has been this way for months now and to the point where I need to go find a specialist to check it out. I have tried all the non evasive treatments like massage, physical therapy, chiropractor and acupuncture. Although they don't fix it, they make me feel good for a short period.

I have been avoiding MRI's and xrays. It is time to bite the bullet so to speak and so I am sent for an MRI. You know what? I think that has to be the scariest thing I have ever done. All those times when I felt scared or worried about putting myself out there with my artwork, pale in comparison.

An MRI is where you are place inside a rather snug fitting tube and they take images, in this case, images of my spine. Since I am unable to stand or lie straight without feeling excruciating pain, the procedure is physically challenging for me. Having to hold a position for an extended period also becomes emotionally challenging when I just want to say stop, I've had enough.

On the form I ticked that I was not claustrophobic, once I am restricted in movement and inside that tube, I kind of want to go back and change my answer. I manage to get through it all, barely.

Standing to paint, hurts. Sitting to paint, hurts when I go to move. I am feeling a little sorry for myself. It is only momentary. I look around and see people who are using walkers or wheelchairs and I give thanks for having legs that can ache, a back that can hurt, that I am still able to paint, that I have a wonderful family who are helpful and kind. Lucky me, life is pretty good. There is nothing to do but get on with it. Just do it!

So there you go, don't give up! Go and make your own luck! That makes you see things in a different light, it also opens up a world of possibilities. Smile and the whole world smiles with you! Have you noticed that? Your reaction to everything changes the tone and the reaction of others. Interesting, I'll work on that one...